Reasons to Love China

1. You combine going to the bathroom with doing deep knee bends
2. Bush is thinking about using the torture of climbing the Great Wall in 100 degree heat on Al Qaeda
3. You get a lovely facial every morning as you boil the water you are going to drink
4. The bellhop who supposedly speaks English doesn't know "taxi" or "airport"
5. Any country that plays "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" in July can't be all bad
6. I lost weight because their brownies tasted like astroturf
7. They still line up at Chairman Mao's tomb even though he made all the college professors shuck rice for two years
8. Getting a legitimate foot massage from a young Asian man is actually legal
9. I actually understand the appeal of Charmin toilet paper now
10. Hey, if Yanni and Linda Evans ate at the Duck King, it can't be all bad