Saturday Thoughts at the Museum

1. "Snakes on a Plane" is killing at the box office. I need to start working on my script: "Raccoons in the Bathroom". Holding a shovel up to cover the hole in the ceiling so the raccoon would not jump on my head was scarier than anything I could see in that movie.

2. Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson broke-up: shocker! Why don't these women realize that if your husband is a rock star and goes on the road, they are going to try to reproduce faster than the smallpox virus?

3. I'm at the info desk at the Museum, and a woman just asked me for a restaurant recommendation on Newbury Street. Davio's would implode if I walked in there with fake accessories head to toe. I can only afford a small cone at J.P. Licks.

4. Note to self: if they make you pack your meds in your suitcase, do not get on the plane. I could so be that woman who was tied up by the other passengers. I won't even ask for a second Diet Coke next time I fly.

5. As a fat woman myself, who do we feel the need to expose our guts? I like to wear more fabric than Mrs. Roper. I only wear a belt if I have to hide money from muggers.

6. Three guys are standing in front of my desk saying, "Let's cable this". This can't be good.

7. A guy dressed like Truman Capote who screamed "Eurotrash" asked me who he could speak to to get into the Museum Administrators party tonight. And I'm eating foie gras at the front desk. I am a freaking volunteer and I'm lucky if the security guards talk to me. I might be able to hand out "Hello my name is" badges and that's about it.